Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Jealousy
I think one of the hardest things, by far, in being a single mom is dealing with jealousy. Not dealing with an immature jackass, not spending a weekend without my son, but being jealous of everyone else who has a "complete" family. All my life I dreamed of finding the perfect man (check), having the most beautiful wedding (check), having a beautiful baby (check), and living happily ever after (FAIL). And as soon as I realize that the latter was a failure, all I have around me are all of these stinking happy families. I can't even go to the mall and see two parents walking around with their children without my blood starting to boil. What did they do right that I didn't? What did I do to deserve having my dreams shattered? I tried as hard as I could to be a good wife only to have it thrown back in my face. I may have been a bit of a nag, but what woman isn't? All I asked for was a happy family. That was it. I didn't ask for extravagant things, fancy jewelry, the nicer car...I didn't hate on his family. I honestly feel like I did everything right. And I am so freaking jealous of everyone who has the life that I want right now.
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********hugs********
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry things are hard right now. And that it didn't turn out how you hope and wished for. Thinking lots about you.
(((hugs))) I know how you feel.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, I'm sure your feelings are totally normal. Just remember that everyone you see may not be as happy as they seem. Many people are fighting their own battles silently.
ReplyDelete:::hugs:::
You did not do anything to "deserve" your dream getting shattered. Sometimes our dreams end, but remember there are others to be had. Life may not be what you expected now, but you will get through this. Continue to acknowledge your feelings and emotions- you are entitled to them.
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